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Friday, May 14th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:10:01 pm.
Mood: blank.
new journal:

comment to be added



Soon to be avaliable on the internet is a three minute long video of me stirring dough to hardcore, this is what we do on Friday nights.

SAT scores back today. 710 verbal. 1310 overall. Not as good as I'd wanted, not as bad as I thought.

There is a gangsta fight outside my house.

Cars and glass.

It is good to live near Ridgecrest.
Comments: 12 - !@#$%

Subject:!!!
Time:6:35 pm.
TUE 25 Beulah; Dios. Orpheum , Drs 8:00PM, Tkts $10.00
Comments: 8 - !@#$%

Sunday, May 9th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:10:58 am.
Mood: okay.
Last night was actually pretty good.

Julie and I went to the Chihuluy (cantspell)exhibit downtown.

I think we were the only people under 50 there.

Glad to see the youth of St. Petersburg take an interest in art.

So, that got me thinking, and thinking turned into realizing how many people I'm associated with try to be artsy, try to maintain "that attitude" and have no actual interest. How many people are into music because of the trend, art because of the image.

Where are the purists?

Headed out to Lakeland, got trapped in a montage of marathon runners trying to look at the swans, since we got there around 6:30 and had time to waste.

Angela's birthday means guest listing for me, Julie, and Michelle, ...So Does Plastic was incredible. A lot of familiar faces, a lot of people I don't see often. Angela had an amazing time, I know, and she gave me a clove which was a luxury after 3 months of inhalation sobriety.

Of course we had to leave because Julie was "tired", over estimated our time and ended up downtown for awhile. I think that's where my night went wrong. Courtney was down there hitching a ride to Sarasota.

Bad end to a pretty good night.

So I think that's where last night entry came from, I need to stop writing so much but it's good for venting even if no one reads it.
Comments: 12 - !@#$%

Subject:...
Time:1:22 am.
Mood:awful.
The only way to get boys is by being horrible to them.

Starting tommorow I am failing school, sleeping around. Wearing clothing that's too small for me. Smoking more than one clove per month/ two months. Getting drunk alllllll the time.

It's hot when kids don't know who The Pixies are. Who John Coltrane, Lou Reed, Blancmange is.

But you live the music, right?

Hey, and you know, fuck moving slow. I am jumping right in. We will parrrrty and forget that there is more in the world than ourselves and our disgusting concerns that have no reflection on anything. Fuck, We will go to Castle and be trendy because that's what everyone who is anyone does.

I love how everyone I start to develop feelings for is inadvertantly snatched away and I fade off, intentionally.

But I don't chase, right? Never have. And don't plan on starting. You want him he is all yours and I will pretend I don't care.

It was good seeing many of you tonight.
Comments: 5 - !@#$%

Saturday, May 8th, 2004

Subject:the amazing that was my friday night
Time:9:32 am.
Mood: aggravated.
My Dad decided it was my turn to babysit Markie while he went and played poker with his friends down at the apartments.

Which would've been alright, except it's Friday night and I don't want to stay home, but have to, save experiencing death, damnation, and consecration.

So I decide that I might as well clean out my room. I haven't done this in a while. I have so much clothing I can't fit it into my closet so I decided to take out the stuff in the back and put it in bags, clean out my drawers and wash t-shirts that had been sitting for awhile.

My dad comes home around 9 and sees me sitting there with my clothing strewn everywhere, starts ripping papers off of my door (I have a collage etc. on it), kicks over my two acoustic guitars and breaks the strings on one of them.

So I'm not allowed to leave the house because I tried to clean my room now? And Markie is sticking cheese on the walls in his room and laughing about the man he is making, "oh, the cheese man aha, haha, hahaha".

So I have to wash the wall in Markie's room.

Then I decide to take a bath and paint my toenails and do gh3y girl things because that's all there is to do at this point, find out that my other brother has diahreah and the bathroom with the bathtub smells digusting, I can't walk in there, let alone spend an extended time in a bathtub.

Decide to go on the computer, yes! there is no one on because it's Friday, consider just leaving, but realize I am already in my pajamas and have no where to go, anyway.

My computer shuts down because of a Trojan Revop C that I don't know how to get rid of.

I go in my room and lay on the floor. Write in my notebooks, listen to XTC and fall asleep thinking of people who probably don't care about me.

.

Tonight is The Crayons! with Julie, Michelle, and Rosey. Hopefully it will make up for my amazingness.

At least Friday was good, even if we did get lost, even if I never get to smoke or drink because I am always driving, even if I have to bleed the breaks in my car now and my dad is making me do it myself, even if today I have to restring one of my guitars because they are busted and hanging out like distraught spaghetti.

the.muthafuckin.end.
Comments: 6 - !@#$%

Friday, May 7th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:4:46 pm.
Mood: depressed.
i'm having a really bad day.


someone cheer me up.


plz.
Comments: 4 - !@#$%

Subject:.....
Time:1:07 pm.
Mood: happy.
I think I have a "crush".

Last night was chill.

Lakeland tommorow!

We can fit one more person, I think.
Comments: 3 - !@#$%

Wednesday, May 5th, 2004

Subject:....
Time:7:56 pm.
Mood: nostalgic.
longest two weeks in history, anyone?

this summer isn't going to be as amazing as last summer; in the same respect last summer didn't start off too well.

everything is realized too late. i need to stop dwelling on the past, meet new boys..i mean... people.

time to join myspace?

time to get off the computer.

time for summer.

time for everything summer brought last year to come back from california.
Comments: 9 - !@#$%

Tuesday, May 4th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:7:58 pm.
Mood: okay.
Decrying what he called popular music's standardization, pseudo-individualism, and rationalized production, promotion, and distribution, Adorno lamented the loss of autonomous art. His contention was that the music industry took authentic cultural expressions out of their context, developed programmed melodies and songs, and integrated them into the latest fashion

quit messing around with me.

are you in or are you out?

i am stoked about:

1. lakeland on saturday
Comments: 12 - !@#$%

Monday, May 3rd, 2004

Subject:....
Time:9:23 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
AP English was a breeze.

i'm tired of being single.

RocktheCrayon: YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE SARAH
RocktheCrayon: THE ONLY ONE
RocktheCrayon: YOU ARE THE ONE!
Comments: 7 - !@#$%

Sunday, May 2nd, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:2:37 pm.
Mood: lazy.
So the guy decided that my hair shouldn't be brown like I wanted it to be, but rather red-red brown, super-dark super-not-what-i'm-used-to.

I like it sometimes. Others I am mourning the loss of my blonde.

Semi-permanant means it will probably change soon. I get sick of everything.

Last night was awesome; definitely compensating for staying home and studying Friday night.

I picked up Zac and we walked around the mall, saw Kill Bill II. Good times with good people, even if they think Rilo Kiley is The Pixies.

He had to go home, got michelle, went downtown, ended up in some bands tour bus and michelle is smoking out because she do wut she do, and I met amanda, nessa, and ashley, I think, all who I've seen around a lot but never talked to.

The kids were from a band I had never heard of and playing saves the day.

I am not big on saves the day.

Their bus driver came and kicked us off. So I drive everyone home because I'm always the only one with a car and I always drive everyone home. The end of my night. I get home at 2:30-40 ish in the morning.

Today I'm supposed to do my musical investigation but I can't seem to motivate myself what-so-ever.

AP english tommorow.

Michelle and I are going to get drunk on the last day of school. I am looking forward to it.
Comments: 4 - !@#$%

Subject:......
Time:1:52 am.
Mood: happy.
tonight was so great.


Imperatorus: why do you drop acid
whats kims deal: i don't!
Imperatorus: oh
Imperatorus: I figured you the type to totally melt-down when you finally snapped

i am crossing my fingers.
Comments: 3 - !@#$%

Friday, April 30th, 2004

Subject:....
Time:8:45 pm.
Mood: nervous.
1400 or bust.
Comments: 7 - !@#$%

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:8:23 pm.
Mood: stressed.
My CISS test said I should be

1.an international ambassador
2.translator
3.psychologist
4.liberal arts professor

I have a 90% academic focus. I should avoid carpentry and public speaking.

So I'm thinking I will go to graduate school in Ireland and teach there, join the peace corps, and travel the world.

That's all I've ever wanted to do, anyway.


SAT's saturday, AP's, Calc exam, TOK exam, music investigation on the classification of "pop" music 19th century versus the modern interpretation, extended essay on gender aschematics and it's social applicability.

I still feel like I'm missing that key aspect that enables people to succeed and lets the others sink.

I think I will go to New College or Rollins.
Comments: 8 - !@#$%

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

Subject:....
Time:9:02 pm.
Mood: happy.
aerospace enginering is starting to look pretty good.

being called "doll" makes me melt.
Comments: 11 - !@#$%

Subject:amazing good times
Time:6:04 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
christina, angela, and I left campus after third period, went thrifting, stole pins and lip gloss, got pancakes.

<3 my friends.

then julie wanted to come over so she did and we got starbucks and went to clearwater beach.

summer has started already; I haven't felt this relaxed in so long.

I can't wait for the beach every day, shows, sleeping outside, making videos, seeing old people, sleeping.

it's too great.

JULIE IS TRYING TO MAKE ME GO TO PROM.

i am not feeling it.

the blonde hair should be gone by next week.

time for a change.
Comments: 5 - !@#$%

Tuesday, April 27th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:6:30 pm.
Mood:tough.
Being detached has been formulated down to an art.

Time to move on, I guess. Nothing is happening and I don't like worrying over potential.

I don't like moving on.

I still think there is potential.

The PIXIES are coming to Tampa. I am stoked and the concert isn't even untill October.

Don't tell my friends you like me if you can't approach me.

This happens too often.

...!!!!!PIXIES!!!!!1111

SATs on Saturday. I need hella good plans for Saturday night; something to get me through the week.


This song brings back memories.
Comments: 10 - !@#$%

Subject:OMGOMGOMG
Time:6:26 pm.
Mood: awake.
OCTOBER
8 USF Sundome, Tampa, FL (on sale Saturday, May 15)
Pixies

I don't care if the tickets are 200 dollars!!!11

I AM GOING TO SEE THE PIXIES!!!11111
Comments: 6 - !@#$%

Sunday, April 25th, 2004

Subject:.....
Time:11:53 am.
Mood: aggravated.
After an amazing night I decided to lay down on my floor and listen to my XTC CD's, fell asleep on the carpet, woke up with carpet-marks on my face.

It's mature to stop talking to someone on the phone and insinuate that you'd like to be hanging up on them when the other party can't do something. It's a Sunday, this is my catch-up day. What do you expect?

Mr. Roberts said "cattywhompus" last night and I had a dream about him saying it, over and over. I had another dream about trying to ride a bike that was way too big for me home from St. Pete because I was protesting the affect my car had on the enviroment.

I'm in serious fed-up-with-everything mode right now, don't piss me off; I will eat you and everyone else like air, sylvia plath style.
Comments: 2 - !@#$%

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

Subject:....
Time:10:08 pm.
Mood:death.
//
- getting in a huge fight with my mom this morning and having her throw a head of lettuce at me.

- hitting a pigeon with my car. and crying.

- working from 11 AM -10:15 PM. drinking crystal light and getting migraines. falling asleep sitting up with your eyes open. saying you found republican correlations fascinating to prevent getting fired.

- knowing you are supporting republicans

- mr. roberts burping over and over and chorting up bits and swallowing them when i gag everytime someone partially burps; this was seriously blowing chunks.

- getting in the car after working for 10 hours, wanting to listen to rilo kiley because it's the only thing that will cheer you up.

- putting in the rilo kiley cd and finding out it's scratched to fuck.

-walking in the door after working 10 hours and having your favorite cd destroyed and having your brother spray hairspray straight in your eyes because it's a "weapon of disea-eas-ease."

-having your aunt want to talk to you about god after working 10 hours, having your favorite cd killed, hairspray in the eyes, not to mention the pigeon and there is nothing to eat besides steak which i hate.

- going in your room with hairspray in your eyes and having your other brother and his friend break in and fart and fart and fart and where the fuck does someone build up enough strength to far that much all in your room so you have to leave and sit on the front porch.

-crying on the front porch and thinking about how you hate everyone, don't like anyone, and are going to single and working for republicans when you're not and having hairspray sprayed in your eyes untill the day you die.

//
+ there were no "+" to this day. not even a half.





the phone is getting turned off. I have a bottle of bacardi silver under my bed that is getting drunk alone in the bathtub, for serious.

i hope I drowned.
Comments: 6 - !@#$%

LiveJournal for sarah.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.